A Seventeen Year Old Shouldn't Act Like This
by placidusXsomnium
Summary: Ichigo didn't just age physically when he was training for Muugetsu; he aged mentally too. Here is the journal of our favorite shinigami-daiko on his road to senility and insanity.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everyone. How are we today? That's nice. First off, thank you for reading my story and I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I wouldn't be writing this…

Entry 1

Why the fuck did I ever think that sacrificing my shinigami powers to protect everyone was a good idea? Oh yeah, 'cause I am a selfless knight in shining armor. Heh, a fucking knight alright…

I spent all that quality time with my dad in that trans-dimensional-portal-thingy and when I stepped out, I was a few years older. Physically. The bastard didn't know that there were two levels to the time-slowing power that the tunnel had. One was on the physical level, ya know, one hour is three months. There's that, and then there is the mental level. It didn't affect my dad 'cause he wasn't training. But anyway, I was in my mind for 50 years. Fifty freaking years! I spent all that time with Zangetsu and my hollow. No wonder I'm crazy. So anyway, that means my mental age is about 67. God I feel old. It has to be one of the strangest things I have ever experienced (and that's saying something). I wake up and feel like I am in my late sixties. It always surprises me how easy it is to get out of bed and then I look in the mirror. It takes me a minute to remember that I am only seventeen.

I talked to my dad about it and he only laughed. He said that Urahara said something to him about it (does that bastard know everything?). After my old man stopped cackling at his young son's newfound maturity, he told me to start acting my age. I don't know if he meant the seventeen year old me or the sixty-seven year old me. Ah well, I feel too old to go play soccer with Karin. I think I will go read. Now if only I could find my reading glasses…


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: How was the first chapter? Funny? Goodness I hope so…

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I wouldn't be writing this…

Entry 2

Alright. It's happened. I have unwittingly embraced my oldness. Some kid (in reality he is probably only a year or two younger than me) was skateboarding in front of my house. I was being a good boy and just sitting on the front steps and watching people and cars go by. Anyway, the boy was doing some (what he believed to be) fancy tricks and he nearly wiped out my rose garden. I worked friggin' hard on that! It took me months (in the sleet, snow, and ice) to build all of the trellises, the little, white fences ( that Yuzu had asked for) and to cultivate the roses. My reward (a beautiful array ("beautiful array"? What the fuck? How old am I?) of roses) was nearly totaled by this careless little bitch. So, as any old person would do, I got up and I told him to go disturb the peace somewhere else. He looked at me and said,

"Dude, you're only a year older than me."

Then he skated off.

Oh frick. What am I going to do? I am seventeen. Seventeen! I shouldn't be acting like this. Goddamnit.

A/N: OK guys, let me know what you think. You know how…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I wouldn't be writing this…

Entry 3

I am considered by most to be a very grouchy and irritable person. But, no matter how old I am in my mind, I have to remember that people (especially those "older" than me) do not like to be reprimanded by (what they assume to be) a seventeen year old boy. I was in the supermarket (doing some grocery shopping for Yuzu) when this woman who appeared to be in her late forties, cut in front of a young mother with three little kids one line over from me. The poor young woman was too busy trying to get her toddlers to behave that she didn't notice the other woman. So, being the knight in shining armor that I am, I stepped in.

"Excuse me, ma'am. I think that nice lady was there before you. Why don't you go around her and wait your turn."

For some reason, I actually expected her to listen to me. I think it was my hopeful inner sixty-seven year old. However, seeing as I only appear to be seventeen, the woman's response wasn't very polite.

"You little shit. Do you have any idea what I have been through this week? Too fucking much, that's what! Now I don't need some smart-ass kid like you telling me what to do!"

Well. And I thought I was bitter.

Then she turned back to her stolen place in line.

Ok, I will admit that I have a temper. A pretty bad one. So this lady wasn't gonna talk to me like that. Little hooligan thinkin' she's all tough and important. She's only forty…something…..several…decades older than me…ah nuts.

I think I will leave this one alone.


End file.
